when you know how much your loved ones done for you , how much they sacrificed for you , then you will know how much you actually love them .
haiiss......
im sorry ...

important !

FRIENDS , i really need your help here.
derrick have just signed up facebook.
which is a very bad things to me.
because he still checking things out of everythings.
so may i seek your cooperation that

1. dont post any guys-related-to-me things on my fb wall
2. dont mention on any "MARC" or "NIZAM" name on my wall.
3. be careful not to send any of the guys name to my phone

i cant post this in my fb also.
so this is the only way.
he been checking my phone msgs blah blah blah.
so ya, i hope you all can differentiate the way i reply you all.
and i hope you all can remember.
and ya , im STRESS


ANYWAY ,
superjunior is coming to singapore next month.
when will be my SS501's turn ?

i feel so insecure again.

health is getting low...

im stress , real stress.

i still cant find a better solution till now :(

any kind soul want to accompany me to Robinsons Raffles city shopping centre ?
my favourite brand is in Singapore now.
if not i have to go all the way to Korea.
and yes , Basic House from korea is at robinsons now.
they are selling ladies and mens clothes.
bro , you must go with me one day.
im sure you will like the clothes there !
* babes , can we go one day ?
im not going to buy any mens clothes there , i rather buy mine.
but seriously , i feel like wearing the mens clothes also.
some more my KIM HYUNJOONG is the model leh ...

anyway , i trying to numb myself la.
shopping trips next month !

i still feel so insecure...
i started to find out more and more things..

Shall i like quit smoking for someone? The place i am now have fucking many cockroachs !

SAENGIL CHUKAHAMINDA = happy birthday !

saengil chukahaminda park jung min ssi !!!!!

hope your online shop business success !!

DAEBAK !

happy birthday CEO PARK !

ALL MENS ARE JERKS !

im back finally after so long.
was really stress at work this few days.
and those jerks that enter my life really piss me off.

i dont believe in people that have the same birthday anymore.
take example of me and nicholas .
character and everything the same , so it doesnt take us any further.
so i believe , dont look for boyfriends that have the same birthday as you
or worst , same as any of your ex boyfriends.
clarence have the same birthday as leonard
(* bro , you should know how leonard is like )
for those of you that dont know.
leonard is a BIG playboy , and so i assume that clarence is one also.
for all those words that he said to me for the past few days ,
is sweet la , but again , is all fake .
he can be a good boyfriend to maybe someone la , but to me
i think i dont need this type.
he is sweet (* thats for sure ) but he is the one that admits that he still like his ex gf.
but he can actually send this to me :
" can we keep our relation discrete ? cos my dad very strict with me when it comes to relationships " (* and hey hello ! how old are you. and is you the one that say you like me )

and so i confronts him about his ex gf and he replied
"i also secretly date one . my dad dont know also not many of my friends knows " (* and you put on facebook so big that ATTACHED to blah blah blah when you told me that you already broken up with your ex . you telling me that not many of your friends knows ? )
" so i hope you can understand that . keep low profile "

until here , do you all think that he wanted to keep low profile because of his dad or his ex gf ?
and so he went to malaysia for one week.
but in that one week i thought of alot of things.
after i come back , i ask him about the same old things again.
me - have you broken up with your ex ?
him - ya...
me - do you still love her ?
him - no...

and he send me this msg at night , i admits that im touched
" baby , i've visited the doctor and found out that, there's a high content of sugar in my heart. im devastated to hear that....cos to me 'U're the sweetest ...
tell me , who wont smile after reading this msg ?

the next day i pop up the question again.
i believe in myself that what i feel is true.
yet true enough , he admits.
" i admits that i still have feeling for her . and im really sorry that i have hurt you . i know im a bastard but really im sorry . "
tell me , WHO DONT KNOW HE IS A BASTARD ?

he continue to message me everyday , but i just dont bother about him.
even if i wanted to find a new guy , i will find a real SINGLE and a guy that dote me .
not someone that keep telling me sweet-nothings
omg =x i cant imagine that i ever knew this type of guy.

recently starting to use tagged again
ya... i know , tagged is like way way outdated.
but i use it because of someone la.
and everyday every hour now , i get friend requests and messages from people that i dont know.
some even send me very funny msgs like :
" hi qingfen , i really want to make you a happy princess and be your prince charming .
hi , im jenson chn sg 28 im very sincere to know you better offline i too am serious in having a serious relationship like you and i hope you can give me the chance to show you my sincerity by actions not by mouth talk. really appreciate it very much from the bottom of my heart if am given this chance hope to make you the happiest princess in the world by actions of course i also hope i have the pleasure to have your phone number just a sincere chat . please dont treat me as a stranger but an angel sent by God thank you and may God bless you. hope to hear from you soon my hp number is 8142**** im really sincere in having a serious relationship with you i hope you wont look at my age but the sincerity deep inside my heart that will melt your heart with my actions not by mouth talking pls give me the chance of a life time .thnx "

LAUGH !
that guy is 27 and have no photo on his page .
in conclusion
MENS ARE JERKS !

ok , enough of my nonsence .

i have updated my schedule. Go and look k.

luck is so down , down , DOWN

been so stress at work , relation , family.
i think im gonna bang the wall one day soon.
fucking piss off by some idiots really.
they can be so nice in front of you , but end up stabbed you behind.
i realised that they are getting more and more plastic.
and make me believed that not everyone you-consider-friends can be trusted .
actually , im really sick and tired of all this.
i shall take my rest someday.

derrick is stress this few days , so am i
there really lots of things happened this few days.
be it those that can be solved and those not.
problems are all piling up like HDB flats.
one yet solve another came up.
im trying to look for the meaning of life seriously.
working for so long now , and i finally saw how ugly is the world.
there are so many things i been keeping to myself till i think im gonna burst soon.
im really fucking stress....
forget it , shall just stop it.

new guy -friend clarence went malaysia.
and i can finally free for one week from his messages.
after he comes back , everything starts again.
im sure he gonna pull me out for dinner when he is back.
meeting nizam on the 19th after celebrating siewching's birthday.
and this time round , i can finally see his bike after so long.
i miss him actually , and i got lots of things to tell him.
i just hope he dont fall asleep then.
oh..... i cant wait for friday !



ps : i just need someone to talk to right now.
keeping everything inside is toturing me !
there are so many unhappy , angry , unfair things happening to me.
and i seriously think that im bursting any time :(

im stuck in between.

i seriously finding people to accompany me to eat korean food.
especially korean BBQ.
ok. is no link.
i hope mum gets well .
praying hard .
is such a mess at home right now.
till i suddenly dont know what the meaning of " home "

stuck in between.
i just met derrick at my house downstair.
been msging with THAT other guy since ytd.
and we actually plan to meet tonight near his house.
i dont know what am i doing anyway.
i hate to get back with the same old guy again.
arghhhh.
the place is near but i have a mixed feeling :/

today , ok well is yesterdat (28/02)
last asia tour for SS501.
and i enjoyed watching those fancams for persona encore in SEOUL !
it seems like the boys are really happy to be back to their home ground.
i haven got the time to sort out all my photos
and i just couldnt get enough of my SS501 !
im waiting for the 2nd asia tour.
heard from them that the boys actually mentions SINGAPORE today at their concert.
hmmmm... what does that means ?
i dont mind they start their 2nd asia tour first stop in SINGAPORE.
heehee :)
im high !
and im excited too !
they will be releasing their either 2nd full album or mini album on 1st may.
and it symbolise 501 !!
hahas. is really cute for them to really thought of this.
though their contract will be finished soon but .........
im really anticipate for the album
and im very sure that i will rush directly to any CD shops to look for it once it have been release!

SS501 MANSAE !
FIGHTING !

* i have updated my schedule for march'2010

SS501 encore concert starts today. And it last for two days ! Cant wait to watch all the videos tonight ! I MUST fight for my computer rights today !

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KYU JONG !

SS501 IS LOVE !

HWAITING !

SS501 FIGHTING !

MY BABY KYU JONG !

SHUAI DE LO :)

if only i chosen him than you
i think my life now is much more happier.
derrick chan , you really make me feel disappoined in you.
im tired , really.


my eyes hurts
my heart hurts
i said too much
i think for you too much
im tired of all this , really
im tired of your empty promises.

go gamble , gamble your life away then !

im so emo today...
out of sudden , i dont feel like talking to anyone ,
feel like shutting myself out of this world.
im so freaking stress and everything.
and found out that not all human beings can be trusted.
oh fuck , how am i going to survive..........




* SS501 persona concert in bangkok is a few days away.
and i think , thats the only motivation for me now.
i cant wait to see them once again.
been so long since the last concert in hongkong.
COME OUT WILL YOU ?

sick , but still cant wait for CNY
eating those goodies !!
took 6 days leave , btu i doubt there is people going to accompany me.
but well , i planned my time well.
hahas.
gonna stay home for the whole day with my SS501.
and then sleep , wake up and watch again.
if only there is no one free la.
i think i need a longer break.




* i dont know why some people are so ridiculous.
im not gonna say who.
the reason is so ridiculous that it really affects me alittle.

watched " the spy next door " at vivo with dear today.
im not so into action movies but seriously that movie was really nice.
went to forever 21 and expect that i can at least find clothes for CNY.
but sadly, nothing.
i still prefer the forever 21 at 313.
shop around alone cause he just dont like to shop.
end up when i finish shopping , i caught him eating one bar of chocolate.
* i dont allow him to eat chocolate cause of a high possibility of getting diabetes.
and he rather shop at cold storage alone.
went RWS after that.
is not like what i expected actually.
it doesnt have alot of shops , and basically all not open yet.
but if you are looking for Victoria's secret , Bally, Coach , Chanel , Shanghai tang blah blah blah you can try there.
but dont expect to see LV there. haha
that whole stretch of boutiques all belong to Valigram.
and thats Nizam's ex company and also the company have 3 HUGH BOUTIQUES at airport.
so you see how rich is the company.
saw alot of people standing outside the casino.
and i actually thought that there will be a tour .
but hahas. NO !
ok. you can take RWS8 smrt bus in to the RWS.
and you only have to pay $2 with your ez link for one trip
which means going in and coming back.
and with that $2 , you can still access to other parts of sentosa.
but mind you , the distance from RWS to ... ok lets say the beaches .
is so freaking far !
so you know why it so cheap huh.


ok. finish.
im gonna check out news for my SS501.
it seems like there is so many negative news about hyun joong.
korea side even say that he went "missing"

and ya , i think there is something wrong with my phone.
it hangs plus it auto change my wallpaper , screen saver , ringtone blah blah to DEFAULT .
i really feels like slam it on the floor right now.
maybe... its time to change phone :)

meeting dear later on for movie at vivo.
then should be going to RWS to explore.
ohhh !!! i cant waittttt !

Dear baby , by now i think i gonna say bye to you. Forgive us for making such a cruel decision. Hope you have a better life soon.

sometime life turned out this way :(